…Don't worry, I'll wait. Fellas, log off. I think there may be a game on... Ladies, this is a question that needs answers! I know I'm not the only one who has had daydreams of hopping on somebody's train and riding into the sunset with nothing but self in tow. It has kicked into overdrive even more so with baby girl on the way ( I can be nothing else but honest, ha, ha!). After taking self-inventory, I realized most of these feeling come from not making "me" a priority as often as I should. I've spoken before on how I used to get so jealous of my husband's selfishness. All because I didn't have the strength to do it. Mommy guilt will get you every time and where mommy guilt doesn't kick in, my "Type A" takes the reigns. When the hubs would have enough or feel overwhelmed, he would STOP. RIGHT. THERE!
The house could be burning down (I'm being dramatic)! If he felt signs of being overwhelmed, he would certainly go and take a luxurious shower, grab a snack and come back when he's mentally ready to tackle the craziness. Most men know when to tap out and guess what? When he returned, the world hadn't ended! You see, selfishness is not necessarily a bad thing and choosing self over everything else is many times what needs to happen before you get to the "burn out, pack the pb & j and runaway" stage. Yes, of course, there's balance to this thing and no, I don't want to see you on the news... so use common sense, lol. You don't have to wait on a lavish trip or grand event to create a habit of #selfcare. What are three ways to do for you? I've got you covered!
Rise before the fall!
Choosing to wake up a little earlier than needed, whether for work, family or ahead of a busy day, can make all the difference in your temperament and feelings of being overwhelmed. Yes, it can feel like a sacrifice in the beginning but YOU are worth it! Once you get into the rhythm of those extra minutes, it will be come your life line and special alone time you crave! Pray, meditate, have a cup of coffee, a jam session to your favorites or a shower concert. However you spend it, make sure every dime goes to you!
Pencil you in!
Lunch dates, movie nights, spa days, brunch complete with mimosas and drop-in paint sessions aren't just group activities. Make them YOU activities! Being intentional with scheduling time for you can make a big difference in your life. Also, if you deem it important, those around you will, too (it will take some training others around you once you've started the bad habit of neglecting yourself but consistency will rectify this!) Just as you put sports, meetings, and other scheduled items make the family calendar, pencil in your self care as well!
Deescalate by choosing to Resuscitate!
Listen, the day can start off great and go downhill from there. I'm a witness, lol! Choosing to create a hard stop when you feel overwhelmed will change your life! Do you normally work through lunch? Usually take that last unexpected meeting? Continue to go back and forth with toddler tantrums? DON'T. Find the exit door, even if only 5 minutes to regroup and breath new life into yourself and your day. Take the full time for lunch at a different eatery and go wild by ending it with dessert. Actually leave work on time. Reschedule unexpected tasks...it will be there tomorrow. Go home on a car karaoke high!
You need the mental and physical getaways! Creating balance and making yourself a priority will keep you in a more positive and peaceful space allotting for even more wholeness and fulfillment in life. "What have you done for "ME" lately" should become a thing of the past as you embrace a new level of importance placed on self. When you love self, it's good for everybody else!