Her birthday, my gift.
When I tell you I love this girl, it is with my whole being! She is one of the best things to ever happen to me. Being her mother has given me purpose that money nor career could ever bring. I think to myself and wonder how could she be so amazing??!
I tell her often of how she saved my life. She giggles while adding it to her resume of exploits. But truly, I had lost my sense of self so deeply during that phase in my life that I was tired of trying to make my journey make sense and no longer wanted to live. You ever felt like that?! I had a dream one night that Atlanta flooded and I was running to higher ground with a baby on my hip. A baby!!!! I woke up thinking "who's baby was that?!" Although I didn't see the baby's face, it consumed my thoughts for days. I know what you're thinking... um, hello, the flood???! What about the flood?! ha, ha!! Yes, the flood was weird, too. That baby, though...
I was experiencing immense discomfort in my abdomen the days to follow and I was sure I had food poisoning. I sent my husband to get medicine and he returned with a pregnancy test. When did he become Ms. Cleo??! After being difficult, I took the test to find out I WAS PREGNANT!! Fear and uncertainty shook my core. I somehow navigated out of depression to pending purpose. Still in a low place, I pushed through going over and above to care for my growing baby with my best efforts.
The day she was born, as was I. I had a whole new meaning of being alive. I couldn't quit, give up or throw in the towel because I was her lifeline. Without realizing it, truly, she was my life line. She has brought joy, laughter and peace to my life in ways I would've never expected. The life I always dreamed of as a preteen and child, she has; not because of material things but because she is able to be her authentic self. She celebrates EVERYTHING and loves so hard. She's not on the fast track to adulting but embraces responsibility with a little flare. She touches everyone's life with kindness simply gliding (yes, gliding) through the grocery store. She says the most beautiful things at the most perfect time. She is beautiful... and she's mine. She blesses my life and helps me see the excitement in the smallest things. We all have something that keeps us going. My children are my "why?". Why I strive to be the best me... Why success is important (to ensure a legacy is left and they are well taken care of in this lifetime)… Why I don't knuck if you buck (well, right away...ha, ha!!!)… and simply why I choose to love a little further and try a little harder at so many things.
Today, I celebrate the most beautiful gift I received on Bailey's birthday....HER. She's entering a new phase and blossoming into a beautiful young queen. I cannot wait to witness her changing the world all the more; just as she's saved and changed mine.
Oh, yeah... the flood... it happened when Bailey was about 9 months old, lol. We were thankfully living in a top level condo at the time. God is good, lol!