The Birthday Blues
It is assumed that birthdays are the most celebratory time in one's life. What if I told you, I've never been on that program. In fact, birthday time every year put me in an utter funk. I'm so hopeful, at peace and full of light year round yet when this time comes each year, I'm definitely in a schmood, mmkay, ha, ha! Sad but TRUE.
I had to sit and really think of why I feel this way year after year when I should feel blessed to have made it this far. Because I'm the "fix it" Queen, I thought back to each birthday I was aware of to find the common denominator. I can remember birthdays that seemed like a regular day withought mention, experiences where someone stole my shine (this should never be a thing) on my day, illness and times where I consistently felt like an after thought. I thought even further about the majority of the ill experiences and realized others had a lot to do with my birthday take away.
The reality: I've allowed other's lack excitement, anticipation and care to dictate my experience; which means I AM THE PROBLEM. Imagine that. Even further, I consistently create a pattern that pushes gratitude out the door; which immediately zaps much of the hope for joy on a beautiful day to be alive. Crazy, right?!
Allowing gratitude to take a fifteen also allows frustration to creep in, reminding me of unfulfilled goals by age limits I've set; giving me a feeling of failure when the reality is I have done amazing things, attained great accomplishments and still have edges! Furthermore, the goals that are taking longer than anticipated ARE STILL IN PROGRESS!! Progress IS an accomplishment on its own.
These things are hard to see when the snowball starts rolling... Perspective dictates feelings.
For the people in the back: If you want your birthday to be treated like a holiday recognized in 48 contiguous states, it starts with YOU! You make plans, go out for cake and dance the night away; even if you're by yourself. Effort starts with where YOU invest it. Sure, we all desire to be recognized by others but guess what?! Yet, if it doesn't happen, that shouldn't be one raindrop on YOUR parade.
In life, others will be quick to say what they aren't responsible for your happy experiences and fulfillment of blissful moments in order to release the responsibility of being there for you. The beauty: there are billions of people... your bunch is coming with all the bells and whistles. Keep leading the charge. Remember, celebration starts with you!
If you experience the blues like me, this is your sign to change the trajectory of your birth anniversaries going forward! Regardless of where you are in your journey and regardless of how you feel temporarily, the fact that you woke up to have another chance is celebration of what is and the beauty of what is to come. Beautiful ways to acknowledge your day in a special way:
Enjoy the most beautiful, decadent dessert you can find!
Journal all that you're thankful for up to this point and all you've learned. Also jot down all that you desire too see in the coming year.
Book an experience you've always wanted to try FEARLESSLY!
Get away from the daily hustle and bustle and REST, Pray, regroup and be with YOU
Partake in a little retail therapy but make it meaningful. Find a piece of jewelry, shoe, literature or even a gadget that symbolizes your continued evolution and growth. It will encourage goals to fulfill that inward promise to yourself!
Life is a gift; even when it feels like lumps of coal. The greatest gift you can make available to yourself is joy, unconditional gratitude and relentless pursuit of self-celebration! Next time your birthday rolls around, do all the things!-xo