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  • Writer's pictureA. Guru

Toddler, Tween and Teen

As I read this title, I am astonished that this is life, ha, ha! But really, I wouldn't have ever believed someone if they told me this would be my simultaneous lineup. This season has been the most challenging yet it has been the most progressive as I "work through me" to "get through to them". Yep, read it again.

This season is challenging me to elevate my view and be a new level of present as each child is in a "defining moment" of their development. Now more than ever, practice what you preach, "knuck if you buck" and fertilization of the soil is in full effect. Hunni, sometimes I wish I could just go to time out and stay there a while, lol...

What I've learned...

Grace for each day is MANDATORY!!

Read again and live in it!

"I am not alone"

When you are experiencing a challenging time, it can seem like you're alone in the struggle. Truth is, Parenting is hard and everyone is experiencing the challenges of cultivating a human. Most will only show you a highlight reel that isn't indicative of Le struggle. This does not mean you are the only parent experiencing mayhem... it simply means they know, just as you should know, that it's a moment in time and doesn't define the future. I remember visiting a client's home and seeing the door removed from their teen's hinges. In that moment, it was like a breath of fresh air. I felt validated and encouraged to keep pressing forward. We had no door at the house either, ha, ha!!

What's done today will yield an even brighter future

Sure, its hard as h-e-double hockey sticks (did I take you back? ha, ha, ha!!) right now, but every positive effort you make now lays a foundation for your children to soar and shine bright. Tackling tough situations now creates a blueprint for expectations and discipline in the future.

I'm a bad a$$ warrior and that's a great thing!

Sometimes, you have to fight for those you love. It can often seem like you're making things too serious or putting too much into an issue. From experience, give it the energy you feel it requires regardless of outside commentary. Little incidents grow into larger situations... take the time to deal with principle early.

Key: Just as you deal with difficulty naturally, you should take the extra step to confront the issue spiritually. There's layers to this thing. Use all that's available to you, friends! Prayer is and scriptural wisdom ALWAYS available.

Consistency is key

I realized the other day that I had become soft in sticking to consequences for actions SIMPLY because... are you ready for this??! I'M TIRED... yes, tired. It hit me that this was the reason for not seeing the same results I once did with certain techniques. I WASN'T FOLLOWING THROUGH. Bad mommy! smh, lol. It wasn't them (because kids are going be a mess), it was me. My follow through was weak! If my son was grounded from video games for a week, by day five, I wasn't even checking because I was too tired to ensure the assignment was followed. Sound familiar? Just me? ok. You must stick to parameters set to see results!!

New seasons require the scenic route

Not every instance in black and white. new perspective is often required. Choose to first understand before jumping at correction plan. The more you understand, the more effective your delivery and action plan will be. Think first then act!

Open door policy is golden!

Communication is vital for creating opportunities to teach, nurture and support. How much better doesn't it make us a adults feel when our company has an open door policy? You feel valued, heard and empowered simply knowing the standard exists. It's no different with kids. Don't miss golden opportunities or eureka moments because you CHOOSE to be emotionally unavailable. You can still maintain respect and be WILLING to listen. It's actually a power move!

Labels are limits!

Choose to be aware of your words and deposits into your children. What you say can have lasting effects. Words shape the future. Being positive and proclaiming the attributes you wish (and expect) to see in your children rather than attaching negative characteristics to the definition of their being can have a huge impact on how they view themselves. How they view themselves will often times dictate their future actions. Pour in a fill them up, not tear them down as the tree is growing!

Parenting is a hard job at times. Taking the time each day to be intentional, persistent and aware are great steps to conquering each day of development! Know that you can do it and at every age and stage, they'll be even better for it! Here's to continuing to fight the good fight parents!


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