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  • Writer's pictureA. Guru

Thirst Trap or Road Map: Singles

Yes, I'm married and have been for some time. While marriage is no easy feat, being single can have several woes of it's own. Many of us desire a mate and not just a date. You know, someone to build memories, share in life's journey and have lasting companionship while striving after the our #goals. Sometimes, it can seem like it will never happen and we give up out of frustration. Sometimes, it can feel easier to settle for right now than right for a lifetime. When you come to this juncture, you have to ask yourself the hard questions: Am I making myself available for what I desire? Do I ALWAYS represent myself in a manner in which to attract my optimal mate? Do I have patience to stay the course? If there's a no to any of the these questions, a tune up may be in order. Expert?! NO. Guru?! Um, YESSSS!! This is my take on setting yourself up for optimal results while dating when your intent is longevity and commitment.

Who Do you Attract?

The type of people you attract says a lot about you. We all have a one off every now and again, but if it seems that there are common traits or personalities in those whom you attract, it's a great idea to evaluate self IF they aren't the type of individual you'd like to spend life with. Often times, our broken areas are a total magnet to those that may feed from, exploit or suffer in similar areas. In order to attract a whole person, you must be whole. Learning yourself and healing what's in need of repair is one of the best steps you can take initially. Furthermore, IF you are interested in getting serious, be serious about the way you advertise yourself. Yes, we can all wear what we desire, act how we want and conduct life as we please, but it truly creates a smoke screen when trying to attract a lifetime mate. Think about it: Not everyone (especially men) is going to put in effort to get to know you or try to FIGURE OUT whether or not you desire a serious relationship if you're already presenting a circus with what may look like a hot ticket for a free ride. Yes, I said it AND it's true. There are some humans that go above and beyond to do so, but honestly they are pretty far and few between, Heck, most of us are trying to figure ourselves out, ha, ha!! You prepare for the career you the same for the relationship you desire. Advertise (the way you are presenting yourself to he world) for the type of mate you want to attract!

Are you Available?

This is actually a huge one. Without many of us realizing it, we are clearly expecting to find our mate at the bottom of the cereal box because at home is where the most time is spent. I hate to break it to you but there's not even a prize at the bottom of the cereal box anymore, so chances of meeting your match are slim, lol. In all seriousness, going out to places that stimulate the best parts of you can always generate leads on the road to being in relationship. I consider myself an extroverted introvert; someone who enjoys time with me overall and can be social when I'm willing to spare additional energy, lol. THIS is not the move when looking to start ANY type of relationship; whether friendship, romantic or otherwise. Why? Because relationships require effort both BEFORE and DURING. You cannot be unavailable and just expect a relationship to fall into your lap. As a new age, much has been built on the pretense of convenience and while eharmony and tinder seem to help many, the best way to truly help yourself, your odds of meeting someone great and increase your social attractiveness, is to physically get out there. Pick up some enriching hobbies, visit a winery, etc. Visit places you would love to date later. Sow the seeds and meet other people who share your likes.


Truth: As people, many of us lack patience. We will say we're fine with waiting but our actions will speak something else. It can seem like forever when you're hoping for a wonderful, blossoming relationship and can easily discourage the quest. One more truth: Patience shows TRUE sacrifice for what you desire to happen in your life. If you lack patience, your detours will be constant thus increasing your travel time around what seems to an endless mountain. Often, we think, "well, this is just something (or someone) I'm doing in the meantime. It means nothing, I'm just scratching an itch and still waiting on my ideal candidate...". This can not be any further from the truth. What did we say before? Patience shows TRUE sacrifice for what you desire to happen in your life. You are simply prolonging the achievement of thriving longevity for a temporary thrill in which you see no future. When written in words, its seems silly, right?! Right, because it is. We all possess the ability to get all that we desire and it all comes at a cost of endurance. Every week, you wait for payment from work you've previously done, right?! You have anticipation because you've shown up everyday, on time and knocked it out of the park, right? This applies to ever area of your life including LOVE. All energy spent refocuses your view. If you are out with someone just to fill space, you are creating an even greater space in meeting your desires face to face, remember that. Thus, a continual #thirsttrap mentality that going nowhere fast.

Let's do ourselves a favor and create a #roadmap that leads to a healthy, lasting, relationship where we thrive and are fulfilled. Instant gratification feels good, temporarily, but isn't lasting. Let's keep that feeling going and demand different. Break the cycle and go after what you want by first correcting your presence, consequent actions and outlooks. Your time and energy is valuable. Don't waste the best parts. Virtual Hug!


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