I would like to start off by saying that I am not a professional but a mom. A mom who strives to do everything I possibly can for my children. This is my experience after mini trial and error. I definitely hope this helps a fellow amazing parent!
We all want the best for our children. We want them to have more than we had and be better than we were and we often parent from that standpoint. While this the desire to create a beautiful life for our children derived from love, it’s also very easy to parent from fear. Many times, what we do not heal or rectify becomes a mantra for how we react to our children's growth and development as well as tackle sithat ions. We can be quick to jump to conclusions based solely off of our life experiences that were negative or traumatizing for us.
Always feeling the need to be on guard as a child, caused me to be on edge and frigid when it came to being in social settings or out and about with my kids. I had to learn a balance while continuing to be aware. I learned that my mother's childhood traumas also had a hand in portions of her outlook, hence repeating the cycle. While age does yield learning and experience, breaking from fear can yield an awesome level of understanding, healing and road map of success in dealing with your child.
There’s no manual for parenting and many of us do the best possible with what we are given. Truth is, you are the best parent when you are your best self. I like to call it imperfectly perfect. Being your best self doesn’t mean you are an image of perfection. It simply means you are aware and continually working on you two yield the best possible outcome.
The main question I ask myself when dealing with tough situations is “What is the origin?” This has helped me parent from principal and not pain. This has help me to communicate without feeling conflicted. Clear thoughts and speech yield better results when dealing with our children.
You won’t heal if you can’t deal. Start making changes today to promote the health of you and your family. It’s not always easy but it’s forever worth it!
Have you found yourself parenting from fear? What topics are heavy issues in your household? Share!