Having been married for over 12 years, I've learned a great deal. The biggest lesson I've learned is actually a simple one: Keeping the simple things simple. What?!...Let me sell you on it! We can be complex creatures, us humans, and we are always wanting our partners to read our minds; even when it comes to simple things like what to eat. Why am I talking about this, because this is an epidemic! lol. When you take the guesswork out of the simple things, you can use that energy to put into areas that need problem-solving sessions. Where to pick up late night dinner isn't one of those. Ha, ha! When I was younger, I would get so upset if I didn't get the purple, off-the-shoulder chunky knit sweater I wanted as a gift or the deliciously, greasy street tacos I had in mind when I text the husband saying I was hungry and to "surprise me". While sometimes your likes and dislikes may change, you owe it to yourself and your partner to get this area right. Stop taking offense and get what you desire! I realized I'd rather him get it right than to try and perfect reading my mind; that day would never come. After thinking on this, I figured out what would make this work! A CHEAT SHEET
Yes! Give your partner a cheat sheet! It's so simple and EFFECTIVE!!! Why didn't think of this sooner?! Oh yeah, because I was being too deep and complex, smh...
This cheat sheet will save your relationship and many layers of aggravation. Everyone needs to do one and hang them in one another's closets or office! As they pop in my head, I write them down! Everywhere , lol. This CHEAT SHEET should include restaurants you like and the items you enjoy there with special details included (down to holding the pickles), your wishlist with links, personal "sick care" regimens, a list of items you frequently run out of, places you love gift cards from, trips/vacations your interested in (in order of there importance), hobbies you're flirting with, red or white wine, music/artist you love, gold or silver, favorite meal THEY cook, your personal maintenance schedule, etc. This will enable you to have surprises ( for us controlling folks, lol), indulge in experiences that won't end in an argument and gain extra points in the love box for effort in the RIGHT direction. It cuts out a lot of the hurt feelings and redirects your gratitude before it derails as attitude! Give this a try. I look forward to your abundant " thanks, girrrl!!" emails! Let's make it work, one tip at a time!